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i forgot to put in my last post that i deleted my facebook... i couldn't handle all of the political arguements and personal attacks because of my political beliefs.. so bye bye facebook.. :(

I LOVE Starbucks doubleshot -Espresso & Cream-!!!!!!

Okay, so I want to start by saying this.. Starbucks doubleshot -Espresso & Cream- is AAAAAAAAMAZING!!! I am SOOOOOO WIRED right now.. hahahaha.. But anyways..

I quit Siemens on the 7th, because they were trying to make me work at the same time I was scheduled at Movie Gallery, and Siemens gave us our warn notice And the day before Thanksgiving was going to be my last day anyways, so I only quit 2 weeks early.. So, I'm only working at Movie Gallery now.. My boss there is giving me more hours, and training me to be a "MOD" (manager-on-duty).. I fly SOLO a week from tomorrow (I'm working alone for the first time next Sunday =D)..

Umm.. I can't think of much else that's new.. I've been fighting a bad cold this week.. It's getting better.. It's SNOWING!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Umm.. I started taking Seroquil (It's an anti-depressant), and it's working GREAT for me... If I think of anything else new, I'll add it later..

little update

ok, so i'm still working at siemens full time plus overtime, and i'm also still working 4 hours a week at movie gallery.. i'm also trying to maintain my home life, which isn't easy.. my marriage isn't looking so hot right now, as my husband is having a hard time dealing with staying home all the time, and he doesn't understand that i can't afford to fill his fuel tank in his truck (it's 38 gallons of diesel fuel which is currently $3.53 at the cheapest station in the county), pay the bills, keep gas in my truck, and but groceries. i'm so frustrated right now. and today, while i'm going to work (again), he's going to tug-a-truck in wapak, which i would LOVE to go to, but NOOOO... someone has to be the responsible one and work to pay the bills.. ggrrr... i think my head is going to explode... oh, and not to mention the girl trying to talk jason into leaving me.. yea.. yesterday she told jason that he needs to leave me because no one likes me (which i know isn't true).. and this girl has tried to break us up before, and he quit going in town, and the proble, disappeared, but he's going back to town, and she's starting again.. i don't know.. i just need... something.. sorry this turned into a gripe session, but i had to let it out somewhere.. better here than to get into a fight i guess..

HOLY $#!%

holy crap!!! ok.. so i just got back from lima.. i went to lane bryant to get sized for a new bra, because my last bra broke last night at work.. so, after many months of putting it off, i went.. and WOW!! i knew i had large boobs, but MAN!! i had to pick my jaw up off the ground when the girl told me my size!!!! i have been wearing a 46ddd... that was completely WRONG!! i had the band to big, and the cup too small.. i am officially a 44g.. that's right.. G!!!! and of course, it's an online only size.. so, i came home and looked up bras... i found like 3 sites that sold bras in my size for under $50 per bra.. so, i just spent $77 on 2 bras and shipping... wow... that's DEFINITELY going to be a christmas wish-list item!! lol.. but yea, other than that.. new news in my life.. umm.. i'm working 2 jobs right now.. full time at siemens, and part time at movie gallery.. it's pretty cool.. i love the job at siemens.. i reaaly wish that place wasn't moving to mexico... umm.. my truck broke down on me AGAIN!!! yesterday i was on my way to work, and i hit the breaks, and my foot went completely to the floor before i started slowing down.. so when i made it to work (which i did safely, by the grace of God!!), i checked my brake fluid tank.. and it was completely EMPTY... i blew the line in like 3 different places... yay.. so i'm driving the impala to work for a few days until my truck is fixed.. but i gotta go so i can get ready for work...

got ink? lol

I got my first tattoo today.. Well, got it STARTED.. LOL.. I have to go back to get it colored in because my artist is an apprentice, and hasn't learned the methods involved in coloring and shading yet... But, that's okay, because I wouldn't go to anyone else in the world!! The tribal is going to be black (of course), the heart is going to be red, and I'm THINKING about blue for the flame... Not 100% about that yet.. But, when it's all finished, it's going to be worth it...

some good news for once....

i have some good news for once on here!!! lol. i got called from movie gallery today!! i go in tomorrow to fill out my paperwork and get put on the schedule!! i can't thank jon boy enough!! if it weren't for him, i wouldn't have this job!! oh-- and-- i'm feeling like a million and a half times better now!!! no more nausea, no more getting sick... still a little dizzy and lightheaded at times, but nothing like it was... aannndd--- i'm feeling a lot better emotionally than i was.. everything at home is going great now.. jason and i are doing wonderful, and he's showing me that he loves me more and more... sooo-- things are looking up for me!!! hope everyone's doing well!! thanks for listening to the update!!

*blechk*

ok.. so i've been feeling "icky" for about a month now.. i feel dizzy, light-headed, and nauseous EVERY morning.. now, it's starting to last longer and longer throughout the day, and starting to be worse in the mornings... i'm starting to get to where i'm dry-heaving in the mornings.. a few nights ago, i was sitting at good ol' tsc hanging out, and i started getting really strong pains in my back.. my mom thinks i either have the beginnings of shingles, or that i'm pregnant.. i have already taken two pregnancy tests, and they both said not pregnant.. if i were to get pregnant, this would be the biggest miracle and surprise in my life.. i would be over-joyed if i were to get pregnant, but i don't think it's going to happen for me.. all i can do is keep praying that God will bless me with a child. i know i'm not too old or anything, because jason's mom was 37 when he was born.. but i'd like to be a little bit younger than that.. but ok, i need to go to bed before i get sick.. hugs!!! and thank you for listening to me complain... i'll give an update on what's wrong with me when i get one..

Rayne Elizabeth Nichole Givens

Rayne Elizabeth Nichole Givens was born at 8:07 this morning to proud parents Lisa Kennaw and Ben Givens. She weighed 6 pounds, 15 ounces, and was 19 inches long.

There is a reason why this is a special birth for not only Lisa and Ben, but for everyone that knows them.

Exactly one year and six days ago, Lisa and Ben gave birth to their first daughter, Brittany Nichole Givens, who was stillborn. Therefore, everybody was even more nervous, anxious, and scared than with a normal pregnancy. This morning, God was with us. When I heard that perfect little girl cry, I cried. Everyone present cried. It was hard not to!

I just wanted to show off this new, BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT little baby girl!!!

7 years...

so yesterday (8/9/08) was mine and jason's 7 year anniversary of being together... an occasion that i should be so happy and filled with joy.. but, as i'm sitting here reflecting on the day, i realize one thing... i spent most of the day not happy.. i was either irritated, or not feeling well, or thinking about what happened 2 weeks ago (to the day)... and i'm sitting here wondering if it's really worth it.. is it really possible that i love and need him this much that i am willing to try to put IT behind me.. can i forgive him?? and then i realize just how bad that sounds.. and i realize that God forgives everyone for everything, as long as they ask for forgiveness and truly believe in and love Him.. and now it has me thinking, does jason want to be forgiven, or does he not care?? he told me he was sorry, and he tells me he loves me, but does he mean it?? does he really love me?? how much of what he has told me is the truth? do i really want to know?? he hasn't asked me to forgive him.. and that might be a good thing for right now, but i know that down the road, i would like for him to ask for my forgiveness, not just expect it of me... i mean, he broke my heart... why should i just offer forgiveness? but, at the same time, i realize, he has never asked me for anything.. he never asked me to date him, or to be his girlfriend, or to move in, or to marry him.. none of it... it was all just expected... so will he ever ASK for forgiveness.. probably not.. so now i'm trying to figure out how to get one thing... CLOSURE.. what will it take for me to have closure in this whole situation.. will i ever find it?? and also, will i ever be able to listen to my favorite radio station without hearing a song that makes me cry every 15 minutes?? i don't know.. i just wish that i could find a way to heal, because this is really hard, and it hurts really bad...

on a side note, i have a few people that i would like to ask you to pray for...
1- Brian Harless.. My cousin Tara's cousin.. he is in the hospital, and he's not doing very well, but they think that his kidney might actually be able to be saved... and he's eating again!!! so a little good news at least..

and 2- My friends Leetha and Patrick.. they're going through a really hard time right now, both financially, and emotionally.. their home burnt down about 3 years ago.. they can't afford to finish the house, and they got screwed over by the insurance company.. so they have been living in a pole barn with no running water for the last 3 years.. and also for Leetha's son Tommy... He made a mistake, and now he's trying to find a way to live with himself.. he was sentenced to prison, and he just had an early release hearing, and his release was denied.. I am very scared for him, necause i am afraid that this genuinely GOOD KID is not strong enough mentally and emotionally to make it...

so if you could just think about them for a brief second while you're saying your prayers, i would appreciate it A LOT!!! thank you!!

smiles come when they're least expected...

I was having a terrible time, and going through something that no person should ever have to go through. So, thankfully Liza and her girls were in town for a while, I went to church. It really helped me. I enjoyed the services, and I loved having TWO TRUE FRIENDS that I could count on that I know will always be there for me, regardless of how long we lose touch for. One friend from high school, Liza (of course), and one friend who I have neglected for many, many years... I realized Sunday, July 27th just how much I have been needing this friend; how much I have been neglecting this Friend who has been there for me all along. So on Sunday, July 27th, I opened up to this friend. I welcomed Him back into my heart. I remembered the joys of going to church, and in following God's word. I am very happy and proud to announce my new-found life-long friendship with God. For without Him, I am nothing.


But, on a lighter note, here are some pictures of Grace and Libby from 7/27/08 after church.

Miss Grace looking beautiful..

and Miss Grace devouring a chicken nugget :)

And Miss Libby playing on the playground after church.

Libby got some SERIOUS static electricity after going down the twisty-slide..

It was extremely cute, and hilarious!!

Little Miss Independent!!

Absolute Beauty..

These girls, along with their crazy, wacky, zany, WONDERFUL mommy helped me through a really, REALLY hard time. Thank you Liza for everything!! I hope you like the pictures!! And I can't wait to see you again!!!