how?

how am i supposed to heal myself, and forgive and forget all at once? how do you forgive someone for breaking your heart? how do you forgive someone for taking everything you believed in and crushing it right in front of your face? how do you forgive someone for taking the most important thing in the world to you and ruining it? how do you forget something that will forever be embedded in your memory, something that was burned into your eyes? how do you forget the single worst moment in your life? how do you heal when you can't even imaging going a single day without crying? is it possible?? am i strong enough to do it?? dear God, please help me to be strong enough to work through this....

so excited!!!

i am so excited!!! i get to see liza and libby and grace tomorrow!!!! last time i saw liza, she was pregnant with grace!!

today i went to haylie's 1st birthday party.. it was a BLAST!!!! i absolutely LOVE 1st birthdays!!! here's some pictures to explain why...

she absolutely DESTROYED her little cake!!!

isn't that icing covered smile beautiful?!?!?

she didn't care much for her tiara... but it was still cute!!!

here she is playing with the baby i got for her.. every little girl needs a doll baby....

and here she was just jibber-jabbering away playing with a clothes box...

it was amazing today... i loved it... i can't wait for mitch's birthday!!!

this is getting really frustrating...

ok, so i'm getting rather peeved right about now... i haven't even had my truck back for a week, and it's already down again.... my check engine light came on today, and when i called autozone to find out what the code meant, i got really ticked... it's an overdrive solenoid something or other... the definition of the code is that there is erratic behavior in the overdrive system... which means.. i don't know.. i don't know if this is a part of the transmission itself, or if it's something else entirely.. so tomorrow jason has to call the transmission shop, and see if this is included in the warranty that came with the tranny rebuild.. i hope so, but at the same time, i hope it's something we can fix here... but i guess i'd rather have it covered under warranty and get it fixed by a professional... i just wish that i could have my truck running like it's supposed to and not have to take it to the shop every other frickin week... but ok.. enough griping.. i gotta go so i can get ready for and go to bed... goodnight....

my baby

i can drive my baby again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry... i'm a little excited about it.... i've missed my truck so much!!! but.. on the down side, i have to take her back to the transmission shop, because it's not shifting 5 times like it's supposed to, which is putting my rpm's a little higher than i like.. granted, she's only running at 2200 rpms at 60 mph, but i liked it better when she was running 1600 rpms at 60.. lol.. but she shifts beautifully, and the temp gauge works again.. the problem there was the thermostat was stuck open, and the sensor was bad... we found out that with dodge, if you click the key on four times, on the fourth time, if you look at the odometer, the error code pops up.. which completely eliminates the need to go to autozone or advance auto, or a mechanic to find out why my check engine light is on.. and after you fix the problem, you don't even have to go to get the light reset, because after driving her, the light resets itself!!! my truck is basically AMAZING!!!lol.. and i got my windshield sticker put on.. i think i need some tribal on the sides, but i'm not sure... but i love my baby!!!

she's home!!

ok, so my truck came home yesterday.. i was SOOO excited!!!! UNTIL-- my father-in-law told me that the thermostat was bad... it's stuck open, which means: i can't drive my baby.... :*( makes me sad.... i was so excited that she was home, but now i can't drive her, so i'm sad again.... hopefully she's all better soon..

What I've done to my Truck...

Yes, I painted like EVERYTHING pink on my truck... But I love it, and it fits me!!! I'll post more pics when I get more done to her!

Crappy Birthday to Me.....

Today was my birthday.. It was SO CRAPPY it's not even funny!! It started out when I had to get up at 3:30 am to go back to work after a week long shutdown... That alone sucked!! Then, I went to put water in my cooler thingy that I take to work with me, and there was only 3 bottles of water... I usually take 4 in the cooler, plus one in my coozie... So that had me irritated.. Then, I started my truck.. It barely wanted to run at first, but once it started warming up, it seemed fine.. So, I got in and started driving to work.. When I stopped at the end of my road to turn onto 117, my check gauges light came on, so I checked my gauges, and I had no thermostat and my check engine light was on.. So, I decided it would be best to turn the truck around and take it home, grab the car, and go to work.. So, I try to start moving by slowly pressing on the accelerator so I didn't spin my tires... Nothing.. So I had to almost FLOOR my gas petal just to move so I could take my truck home... So I'm ticked, borderline irate by this point... THEN, after I got in the car and took off down the road, not even a mile from home, I came like 3 inches from hitting a 12 point buck!!! AAAHHH!!!!!!! I almost turned around to go home at that point, and the only thing I could think was "what next?"... If one more thing would have gone wrong, I probably would have lost it and had a neurotic breakdown... Luckily, everything went okay at work, and when I got off work, Jason called me and told me he was in town, and that our Economic Stimulus Check came in the mail today.. So, on my way to meet Jason at the bank, my mom called, and that helped cheer me up a little... Jason was so sweet.. He said that he had to buy me SOMETHING for my birthday, and he decided that he was going to get me my windshield sticker that I want... So, we went to the sign shop by Vicario's, and we ordered my sticker, and his stickers too.. Then he said he was going to treat me to dinner, and we had Tubby's Pizza (*YUMMY!!!!!!!!*)... Then after we got done eating, I had to get everything out of my truck, so it can go into the shop tomorrow... YAY!!! There's a chance (I don't care how small it is, it's still a chance) that I could possibly have my truck back by FRIDAY!!!!! I hope so!!! I am going to completely detail her this weekend!!! And put my sticker on, because The sign shop said that our stickers should be ready by Wednesday!!! So, after getting off work, it turned out to be a little bit better day... BUUUUT-- I'm gonna go for now so I can get some sleep.. I had about 3 hours of sleep last night, and I want more than that tonight!!!