ok, so i've heard this song a million and a half times, but i never really listened to the words.. until the other night.. and as i sat there, dumbfounded by this amazing, inspiring, wonderful song, i realize one thing... this is what i'm going through... i'm trying to learn that i am okay just the way i am, and that no matter what i do i'll always want to be better... and listening to this song, i started realizing that i need to be happy with me because i'm me... so i'm trying it out, and it seems to be working.. i haven't had that many bad days lately, and i'm starting to think positive... but just read the lyrics to the song, and you'll understand it...


"Learning To Live With Me"by Gary Allan

I used to wish that I was
Great as any man
Better than I am
Could do things no one can
And I used to wish that I was cool as I could be
But now I'm learning to live with me


Is anybody satisfied with who they really are
You could be the moon
And still be jealous of the stars
You gotta learn to swim
If you can't walk upon the sea
So I'm learning to live with me

And I used to wish that I was
Braver than the rest
A hero nothin' less
A big duke in the west
But I know the way I am is who I'm gonna be
So I'm learing to live with me


Is anybody satisfied with who they really are
You could be the moon
And still be jealous of the stars
You gotta' learn to swim
If you can't walk upon the sea
So I'm learning to live

Learning to forgive
Learning to live with me


***************

ok, so what do you think? pretty powerful stuff, right?? i like it.. but ok, so a quick update.. i'm trying to mend a friendship now, but i don't know if it's going to work.. jason sent her a text and told her that i missed her and i guess he apologized (this is what he told me), and they exchanged a few texts, and then jason called me and told me that i needed to text her, so i did, and i haven't heard anything back.. i don't know... i'm trying to work this out, because i miss her so bad it's not funny.. i think about her every day, multiple times a day, and it's a horrible feeling that i have in the pit of my stomach... hopefully we can work through our differences and work things out because i do miss her terribly.. but god has a plan, and it's up to him whether we make it as friends or not... so i'm putting this in god;s hands...