update

ok.. so i'm not working anywhere right now... not sure how soon something's going to come my way... all i can do is keep trying... so now i'm stressed about bills, gas, food, christmas... i don't know what i'm going to do.. i filed for unemployment, but its still pending, so i have no clue for right now... i don't know.. but its pretty sad when anti-depressant medication doesn't even help.. i just want to cry right now... i don't know.. i just wish that i could find a hole, curl up in it, and cry until i feel better...

Jason's tattoo

This was done last night.. If you look closely at the cross, you can see the original cross that he was getting covered... A brief description of this piece is: a cross (obviously! lol), bottom left is a warrior, bottom right is an eagle, top right is a sun, top left in a moon, and just above the cross is Jason's zodiac symbol... Tobe is AMAZING!!!!

i just want to say...

grrrr...

a little more to my tattoo

so i went in tonight and got some shading done on my tattoo.. we were going to do the color tonight, but my upper back was killing me, and my leg kept twitching, so i'm going back in a few weeks to get the color.. but here's the progress..

A Soldier's Silent Night

Please pass this on and please, PLEASE remember our soldiers. Happy Thanksgiving, and Merry Christmas.. We wouldn't be able to enjoy these holidays if it weren't for the brave men and women of the United States Military.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY;

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

my friend jenna...

hey-- go check out this video.. jenna is seriously one of my good friends from right here in he l.c.... you go jenna babe!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xM2_w-m_UFs

facebook

i forgot to put in my last post that i deleted my facebook... i couldn't handle all of the political arguements and personal attacks because of my political beliefs.. so bye bye facebook.. :(

I LOVE Starbucks doubleshot -Espresso & Cream-!!!!!!

Okay, so I want to start by saying this.. Starbucks doubleshot -Espresso & Cream- is AAAAAAAAMAZING!!! I am SOOOOOO WIRED right now.. hahahaha.. But anyways..

I quit Siemens on the 7th, because they were trying to make me work at the same time I was scheduled at Movie Gallery, and Siemens gave us our warn notice And the day before Thanksgiving was going to be my last day anyways, so I only quit 2 weeks early.. So, I'm only working at Movie Gallery now.. My boss there is giving me more hours, and training me to be a "MOD" (manager-on-duty).. I fly SOLO a week from tomorrow (I'm working alone for the first time next Sunday =D)..

Umm.. I can't think of much else that's new.. I've been fighting a bad cold this week.. It's getting better.. It's SNOWING!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Umm.. I started taking Seroquil (It's an anti-depressant), and it's working GREAT for me... If I think of anything else new, I'll add it later..

little update

ok, so i'm still working at siemens full time plus overtime, and i'm also still working 4 hours a week at movie gallery.. i'm also trying to maintain my home life, which isn't easy.. my marriage isn't looking so hot right now, as my husband is having a hard time dealing with staying home all the time, and he doesn't understand that i can't afford to fill his fuel tank in his truck (it's 38 gallons of diesel fuel which is currently $3.53 at the cheapest station in the county), pay the bills, keep gas in my truck, and but groceries. i'm so frustrated right now. and today, while i'm going to work (again), he's going to tug-a-truck in wapak, which i would LOVE to go to, but NOOOO... someone has to be the responsible one and work to pay the bills.. ggrrr... i think my head is going to explode... oh, and not to mention the girl trying to talk jason into leaving me.. yea.. yesterday she told jason that he needs to leave me because no one likes me (which i know isn't true).. and this girl has tried to break us up before, and he quit going in town, and the proble, disappeared, but he's going back to town, and she's starting again.. i don't know.. i just need... something.. sorry this turned into a gripe session, but i had to let it out somewhere.. better here than to get into a fight i guess..

HOLY $#!%

holy crap!!! ok.. so i just got back from lima.. i went to lane bryant to get sized for a new bra, because my last bra broke last night at work.. so, after many months of putting it off, i went.. and WOW!! i knew i had large boobs, but MAN!! i had to pick my jaw up off the ground when the girl told me my size!!!! i have been wearing a 46ddd... that was completely WRONG!! i had the band to big, and the cup too small.. i am officially a 44g.. that's right.. G!!!! and of course, it's an online only size.. so, i came home and looked up bras... i found like 3 sites that sold bras in my size for under $50 per bra.. so, i just spent $77 on 2 bras and shipping... wow... that's DEFINITELY going to be a christmas wish-list item!! lol.. but yea, other than that.. new news in my life.. umm.. i'm working 2 jobs right now.. full time at siemens, and part time at movie gallery.. it's pretty cool.. i love the job at siemens.. i reaaly wish that place wasn't moving to mexico... umm.. my truck broke down on me AGAIN!!! yesterday i was on my way to work, and i hit the breaks, and my foot went completely to the floor before i started slowing down.. so when i made it to work (which i did safely, by the grace of God!!), i checked my brake fluid tank.. and it was completely EMPTY... i blew the line in like 3 different places... yay.. so i'm driving the impala to work for a few days until my truck is fixed.. but i gotta go so i can get ready for work...