please pray for courtney

i found out last night that someone that i used to be friends with (we lost touch) is very sick.. she got mrsa, and it got in her blood, and now the doctors are saying she is brain-dead.. her pupils have no reaction to light, and she's on life support.. the only thing she even somewhat responds to is pain... her prognosis is very bleak, and the doctors are going to give it a week and see if courtney improves any.. if not, her husband is going to have a VERY tough decision to make.. the doctors have said that IF she makes it through this (and it's a very BIG if), she will be vegetable for the rest of her life... there is always the chance of a miracle, and i do believe that miracles do happen... so if everyone could just keep courtney, and her husband jim, in their prayers, i would appreciate it..

with this news, it got jason and i talking.. we both say that we'd want the other to turn off the machines, but i don't know that i could do it.. the only thing that i think would make me able to is the belief that it's not God's will to be kept alive by machines.. before all the advancements in modern medicine, it was left up to God to decide when he wanted someone... but, i just don't know if i'd be a strong enough person to leave it up to God.. i need jason in my life, and i need him alive... i need to be able to touch his hand, stroke his hair, and kiss him on the forehead.. i don't know if a burial plot and a headstone, or an urn, would be enough for me... it makes me break down and start crying every time i think about losing him.. i need him... i mean, yeah, i want him, and yeah, i love him, but, i NEED him... he is the reason i was put on this earth.. i truly believe that... and i think i would do anything possible to keep him alive.. but is that selfish? is that cruel?? i am so lost thinking about that... i would be lost without him... i know i could never re-marry, or even date for that matter... i would be alone for the rest of my life.. i'm not strong enough to do it.. i hate being in love.. it has made me a weak person.. i used to be just fine with being alone, but now that i know what true love feels like, i know i could never do it again... i pray every night that nothing ever happens to jason.. i just hope my prayers matter in God's decision...

but i'll keep you updated on courtney's status... thank you...